A Woman's Worth

from the series Heaven Sent
written by Rev. PNo
June 04, 2009
Proverbs 31:10
"...She is worth far more than rubies."

He is late to work, always falling down on the job or employed by someone else. Does this describe those who have been fired from a relationship with you? I'm talking about brothers who are either not real men or they are someone else's man. One comes right off the unemployment line looking for a job while the other has a good resume but is already employed. Sound familar?

Your desire for real love has you holding up the help wanted sign. So you interview the brother who is looking for the job and decide to hire him because he got that swag. You know the look, the ride and some change. At first he was good with a few tasks but later he could not handle the responsibility of the overall project. In other words he could take you places but was unable to place you in his care. So you fire him. Sound familiar?

Then you have the brother that just shows up. He is not looking for a job but has the right qualifications however there is one problem. He's already employed. Not part-time but full-time. Your mind says naw but your heart says yeah because you are feelin the way he treats you. So you roll with it. You keep it secret because you know it aint right. But you come back to your senses when he stops holding it down with you because he is working extra hours at the full time job. So you end it. Sound familiar?

The search for real love continues to end with a broken heart. An endless cycle of attracting the same kind of people. You're frustrated and like the words of Keisha's song you say:

"No more will you be the oneThat's what you tell everyone around youBut you know they've heard it all beforeWhat more can you say"

Want something different? Want real love? That which is heaven sent? Then you will need to first embody the characteristics of a woman that deserves to be loved. What kind of woman is that? One that is

"...worth far more than rubies"

She is valuable. She is priceless. She is worthy of love. In other words, who she is dictates how she is valued. Who is she? A woman that is:

• Trustworthy


• Respected


• Wise


• Hard worker


• Family oriented


• Dresses well


• Fears The Lord

You may be saying these are the characteristics of a wife. True but she had these traits before she was married. The verse recalls from memory the conversation a son had with his mother when she asks

"who can find....".

This means that she didn't become but already was by the time he found her.

Embodying the characteristics will force you to stop making relationship mistakes. How? Think of it this way. A friend refers you to a beautician. After spending hours at the shop you realize that your hair aint right. So you say to yourself " I aint letting her touch my head again". Why? Because you value how you look when your hair is done.

When you are worth far more than rubies you stop giving yourself away to men that have no intentions on treating you as priceless! So stand in the mirror. What do you see? Not just on the outside but on the inside. Now ask yourself the question, are you worth being found? Then live like it!

Next - Evaluating (hints on choosing a good brother)

Let's Be Real

From the series - Heaven Sent
written by Rev. PNo
May 21, 2009

Song of Solomon 2:16
"My lover is mine and I am his"

Let's be real. Do you know what it's like to be lonely even when you are with someone? You have given yourself away in the name of love yet getting nothing back in return except a one-sided relationship that leaves you drained emotionally. Enduring restless nights praying for God to change the one you love while blaming yourself for what has gone wrong. Is this you?

Or maybe you are not in a relationship now yet you long to be in one. You feel that time is passing-by. That the clock is ticking and your dreamed one has not yet appeared. While attending the weddings of your friends you ask yourself the question "when will I get married", "when is it gonna come, where has it been". Nights pass with streaming tears across the pages of Bride magazines that have been opened by the desire of future hopes. Is this you?

I want to love. I want to be loved. I want to know what it feels like to be wanted for who I am and not for what I am. I want to trust. I want respect. I want to give myself away knowing that he feels the same about me. Is this you?

Then its real love you're after, the kind of love that when you have it you're not ashamed to speak of it with those close to you. It's this love that's missing from relationships. Why? We have lost the mirrored image, the passing of the torch. The preparation that comes from matured wisdom found in those charged to reflect it.

Want love, real love? That which is heaven sent? The love that makes you say "my lover is mine and I am his". That love has to be embodied, evaluated and embraced. It confronts you with a choice to be made that this: we can live the somber words of Keisha Cole when she says:

Now you can wait your whole life wonderinWhen it's gonna come or where it's beenYou may have got your heart brokenA few times in the past

Never last strong as it use to It don't feel as good as it use to beforeAnd all the things you use to sayThings you use to do went right out the door

or

We can learn together from an ancient yet relevant book sent down from The God who loves us all. Within those pages we can learn how to develop and search for real love. The kind of love that brings us to sing the hook of Keisha's song when she says:

I wanna be the one who you believeIn your heart is sent, sent from heaven

The kind of love that causes us to repeat the words of Solomon's song:

"My lover is mine and I am his"

Be blessed, I'll Holla~

Next Note - Can You See Your Reflection?

True Compadre

Do you have a friend? I mean a real "compadre". Consider this before answering the question. Who is around when things go bad? Who calls just to be calling? And who checks in on you when life ain't right even when you want to be left alone? A friend. I learned a valuable lesson not too long ago. Just because you are friends with someone does not mean they are friends with you. A wise man named Solomon once said "a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity". That means a true "compadre" will hold it down with you. Are some of your relationships one-sided? Cut the cord! Loose ends will hold you back from the joy found in true friendships. It may sound depressing but it is truly liberating. Now, do you have a friend?

Feeling Lost On The Road

Been gone awhile. No time to write. Been stressed out. Over worked. Under paid. Soakin up school. Dealin with a few funky family members. Do I need counselin? I feel like "I have lost my mind and I still haven't found it." Not lost on the road though. I do have navigation.

Just Do You

Who are you? Better yet do you know who you are? I’m not talking about knowing your name or where you live but who you are deep on the inside. Do you know who you are? Many people go throughout life not knowing the answer to this question. They waddle around trying to be like other people. Not just trying to keep up with The Jones’ but rather trying TO BE The Jones’. Stop and just Do You. Not sure who you are? That’s ok. Being honest about it is a start. Wanna know who you are? Ask God. In Matthew 5:14 He helped a few fishing buddies find their identity. He did so with the first two words, “You Are”. Take a look around. Today there are too many people front-n. Too many people trying to pattern their life after hip hop artists and movie stars. Just going through life trying to be something their not meant to be. Life is more fulfilling when you stop the charade. However, it’s costly to just Be You. Paul Tillich said that it takes “Courage To Be”. So stop. Be honest. Ask God. Then just DO YOU!

They Are Right Change Has Come

As a young man growing up I have always wanted to be part of the past. Maybe its because of the many historical events. You know the marches, the sit-ins, the great speeches and the preaching of Martin Luther King Jr. Many of my friends say that I was born at the wrong time. Call it what you want but apart from the Gettysburg Address the 60's were the most meaningful and life changing times of American history. Well that is until last night! My desire to be apart of the past because of history has been altered because of history. The United States of America has just elected the first Black man as President.

Yes I said Black. Not African American but Black. Although I am African through decent and American by birth (that's right I am patriotic) I embrace the cultural fact that I am Black. Why? It is the color of my skin that traveled through the Middle Passage. It is the color of my skin that caged me to forced labor. It is the color of my skin that cause lynching's and fire hose attacks. And before last night its is the color of my skin that keeps me from being taken seriously when applying for high leadership positions in unlikely places.

As I woke, it seemed in a way that nothing had changed. I mean I put on the same clothes. I traveled the same roads to work. I even stopped at the same place to grab a bite to eat. But something did change. I woke up today with a sense of pride in my heart. I could feel it in the way I walked. It was a new found confidence. For the first time in my life I held my head up. Now don't get me wrong I have always held my head up but this time it was not forced. In the past I held it up to show circumstances that I am not fazed by the struggle. That I was able to endure it. Today I held it up because we have made it. I held it up on my own. Not because I wanted to prove something but because something has already been proven.

Its true alot of things have and will change for our country with a new President. But the biggest change is what has happened in me! You see last night I watched history. Today I am history!

I Can't Wash It Off

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV)

This verse is one of my favorites. Lets look at this thought: I CAN'T WASH IT OFF! I had plenty of fun back in the day when I use to hit the clubs (RJ's By The Lake). You know, try to get there when it was free, buy your drinks early and dance until they told you "you ain’t got to go home but you got to get out of here".

When I look back I remember paying at the door and getting a big stamp put on my hand. The stamp is what the club used to show you paid just in case you wanted to step outside for a sec. After hours of dancing (which made most folk sweat like a field hand) I would make my way to a semi lit area only to find that the stamp was still there.

After the club shutdown, I would make a stop at IHOP for a little food and after washing my hands I looked down only to find the stamp still there. I would go home and take a shower, sleep and wake up the next morning and guess what was still on my hand? That’s right, the stamp. It seemed like nothing I would do could remove that stamp from my hand. The verse above says that we have been "sealed" with the STAMP (so to speak) of the HOLY SPIRIT! Because GOD has chosen us for salvation, nothing we do could ever wash away the SEAL. That's good news! Paul tells us in Romans 8 that nothing can separate us for the love of GOD. I don't care what sin we have committed believers are still SEALED until the day of redemption!

Now before somebody gets it twisted, let me make something real clear. Being SEALED doesn't mean we should live any kind of life!!! Its like this, if the city was about to be hit by a nuclear bomb but someone told you they had a place that would keep you safe would you go? And if you go, would you be grateful enough to do what they asked? Look, because we have been SEALED (put in a safe place) we should be grateful to GOD and live the way HE wants us to because HE saved us from the HELL BOMB. Lets live life obediently for THE LORD because we have something that always shows we belong to HIM, which WE CAN'T WASH OFF!